Bored
by NorthernMage
Summary: It was one of the world's most guarded secrets. What did Lord Death do when nobody was looking? Soul and Black Star intended to find out. Oneshot.


**For a while now, I've wondered exactly what Lord Death does when nobody is in the Death Room, so I decided to make it into a oneshot.**

**Enjoy!**

**Lord Death: NorthernMage doesn't own Soul Eater.**

It was one of the world's most guarded secrets.

What did Lord Death do in the Death Room when nobody was looking?

While most people never thought about it, for two certain EAT class students, it was a welcome distraction from their work.

These students, were of course, Black Star and Soul. Even more disinterested in Stein's dissections than anyone else, their minds often wandered. Through five lessons of Stein dissecting endangered species that appalled their partners, they created a plan that would be sure to work. They were counting on a bit of help from their unsuspecting friends, though.

So, Soul decided to go and visit their first target: Elizabeth Thompson. Liz was found shopping in her favourite store, which Patty had been more than willing to tell them in return for three stuffed giraffes the duo had to buy for her.

'Hey, Liz!' Soul called to her.

'Oh, hi Soul.' she absentmindedly replied, looking through clothes. Soul hurriedly walked up to her, looking anxiously around for anyone who might overhear them.

'Liz, Black Star and I need your help.' She glanced at him.

'Oh yeah? With what?'

'Black Star and I have been wondering for a while now what Lord Death does when nobody's looking.' Quickly he told her of their plan, and what he needed her to get. Liz nodded.

'I can get it for you. Give me a few days though.' Soul nodded once, and left.

The moment Black Star heard that Soul had succeeded, he had begun to work on their second target: Tsubaki Nakatsukasa.

'TSUBAKI!' Black Star yelled upon entering his apartment.

'What is it?' Tsubaki asked, hurrying over to him.

'I've been thinking about something!'

'Oh ok.'

'What does Lord Death do when he's bored in the Death Room?' the assassin asked.

'Well, I'll ask Maka. She might know.' Tsubaki headed to her room, and picked up her phone, texting Maka.

_Tsubaki Nakatsukasa: Hi Maka, wondering what Lord Death does in his Death Room when no students are there. Any ideas?_

_Maka Albarn: No, but I'll see what I can do._

'Kid might know.' Black Star suggested innocently. Tsubaki nodded, and her fingers flew across the phone.

_Tsubaki Nakatsukasa: Ask Kid maybe?_

Black Star, who saw Tsubaki text Maka, knew that his mission was a success.

Now, Soul and Black Star had one last mission to complete.

They had to convince the son of Lord Death to help them.

Everything was in place, and with Maka's unknowing help and Liz and Patty's assistance, the egotistic meister and his scythe friend were sure their plan would work.

'Kid, what do you think Lord Death does all the time? Does he just wait for anyone to arrive in the Death Room?' Maka asked her friend a few days later. They had just met up "accidentally" (in Tsubaki's, Maka's, and Kid's minds anyway) while procrastinating from studying for a test that was coming up soon.

'You know, I've never asked.' Kid replied.

'Maybe we should try and find out. I mean, it's gotta be pretty cool for a death god.' Soul suggested energetically. Kid frowned.

'I'm not sure my father would appreciate that...'

'Stop worrying so much Kid! I'm the biggest star there is, nothing can go wrong!' Black Star declared.

'How are you even planning to find out? He'll likely stop when you enter the Death Room.' the young reaper asked.

'Well, all we need to do is set up...this!' Out of her bag, Liz showed everyone a camera that was small enough to fit on top of the Death Room mirror without anyone noticing. Kid gave her a "Seriously? You're helping them?" look.

'Now, Kid,' Black Star said, 'we just need someone to get up to the top of the mirror in the Death Room.'

'It's so high, you'd have to be either really tall or able to _fly_.' Soul said. 'And, well, it's not like we know anyone who has a _flying skateboard_ or anything!'

All eyes were on the reaper, silently swearing that if he didn't help them, all the paintings in his house would be pushed into asymmetrical positions by random amounts.

Kid sighed. 'Come on.'

No change.

'Are you really that interested?'

'Yes!'

'Death help me.' Kid breathed. 'Fine, I'll help you _only because_ my father will catch you in a half-second if I don't.'

'Tomorrow it is! We'll sneak inside the Academy after school, and find out what your dad does when nobody's around!' Black Star announced.

So, the next day, after the millionth dissection by Stein, Kid awkwardly slipped inside the Death Room. _Damn you, Black Star,_ he thought angrily as he headed over to his father. The assassin had told him the plan just before school that day.

_'Okay Kid, so you'll help us today?' Kid sighed and nodded._

_'Yeah, Black Star.'_

_'So here's the plan! You go into the Death Room and check the mirror for any asymmetrical marks on it. WHILE DOING THAT,' Black Star said loudly, seeing Kid's look of utter terror as he realised that there was a chance of the mirror being asymmetrical, 'you place this camera on top of the mirror.' The blue-haired boy passed the reaper the camera, and sighing, Kid walked off, putting the camera in his pocket._

'Hi Kid! What's happening?' his father asked in his usual voice.

'I need to make sure the mirror isn't asymmetrical!' Kid explained, quickly sending out Beezlebub and flying up to the top of the mirror.

'Oh okay Kid!'

After school that day, Maka, Soul, Tsubaki, Black Star, Liz and Patty were waiting at Maka and Soul's apartment, looking for Kid.

'Hey, shouldn't Kid be back by now?' Black Star asked.

'He probably got held up fixing something asymmetrical on his way here.' Liz sighed. Barely a moment after she spoke, there was the sound of the apartment door being unlocked.

'I can't believe we're actually doing this.' Kid sighed as he walked over to the group, who were sitting on the couch.

'It's an invasion of privacy.' Maka agreed.

'Who cares about that? We're not just invading _anyone's_ privacy, we're invading _Lord Death's_ privacy!' Soul urged, his eyes wide with excitement as he connected to the camera through the computer Kid had grudgingly brought over, as he was the only one who had internet on his computer.

'And...here it is!' Soul declared, removing his hands from the keyboard.

Everyone crowded around the screen. It was a strange sight, the seven of them. Patty was whispering something about giraffes, Liz looked slightly interested and Black Star and Soul could barely keep still with the excitement running through their veins. Maka, Tsubaki and Kid were all glancing at each other, obviously thinking the entire plan was stupid.

On the screen, Lord Death walked into view. 'There's our target.' Black Star laughed.

In Lord Death's hand was a large book with a skull symbol on the front. He opened it, and from where the grim reaper stood, the camera had a clear view of the contents.

Baby photos. _Many_ baby photos. Not just anyone's, either.

Kid's.

Kid sucking his thumb as a two year old, Kid in a nappy...

Basically, everything Kid would have nightmares about others knowing about.

'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!' Black Star laughed.

'Hey big sis, isn't that Kid in those pictures?' Patty asked Liz, who was struggling not to laugh at the expression on her meister's face.

'Y-yeah.' Liz coughed, glancing at Kid. He was in shock, and staring at the screen.

'Maka, Tsubaki, help.' he pleaded.

'Sorry, but it's not _that_ harmful.' Maka said, biting back a smile. 'Plus, you were a cute baby.' Tsubaki nodded, smiling.

Kid moaned, head in his hands. 'Traitors. All of you.'

He wasn't going to hear the end of this for a long time.


End file.
